My current knee status

So here is a little info about my knees. About five years ago my left knee started to ache.. Not something special.  . In return I started to compensate by using use my other leg more. Until it started to ache as well. I then visited an orthopedician who told me that I probably have arthritis. Something that the MRIs confirmed.

 I was told that there is no real treatment. I started taking some drugs. Three years ago I had my first arthroscopy (left knee). It felt somehow better but only for a couple of months. Than I had a second to my  other knee.. And one year ago I had one again in the left.. So here I am with constant pain, writting this post.

My doctor has told me to be patient and wait until my sixties before having a bilateral total knee arthroplasty. He says it is better this way because if it fails too soon, the chances of failing again are high. And then the only alternative is a wheelchair...

I know it's better to wait..I want to wait..But this pain gets too tiring. It's constant.. Sometimes I can't get it anymore. Sometimes I even think of suicide. It's not that I can't handle the pain.. I am just too tired of being CONSTANTLY in pain..  If it wasn't for my supportive family and husband..who knows...